Los Angeles Hosts China's Top Dating Show

In China, if you haven’t heard or watched the show “If You Are The One,” you’ve probably been living on an island somewhere. Or you’re really not cool.

“If You Are The One,” called “Fei Cheng Wu Rao” in Chinese, is set up like a tribunal. Twelve single women stand behind brightly lighted podiums and pepper a potential male partner with questions about their lives, loves and goals. Directing the talk is a host and his two sidekicks.

According to Beijing-based CSM Media Research, the show broke ratings records from 2010 to 2013. In 2011, more than 50 million people tuned in, twice as many as the nearest competitor for that timeslot. To compare, last year, 14.3 million watched the final of “American Idol”.

The show is not only popular with domestic viewers across all ages and social stratum, it has also, according to the show’s official website, attracted a great number of viewers from abroad. Many view this TV show as a source to understand Chinese dating culture.

On Youtube, China JiangsuTV Official Channel for the show, has almost 345,000 subscribers. The latest episode that was aired on Nov. 30 got more than 38,000 viewings.

Some students on American campuses even filmed their own versions. At the Nov. 23 taping of “If You Are The One” at the University of California at Los Angeles, 12 girls were put in the box seat in their quest for love.

The Chinese Students and Scholars Association (CSSA) at UCLA has now held this dating show eight times, and it has remained popular among Chinese International students.

According to Boyang Cai, a fourth-year electrical engineering student and this year’s show organizer, the logic of producing a dating show is easy to see. “Take UCLA as an example, despite representing more than 10 percent of the student population, Chinese students say they can face difficulties dating on campus,” he said.

The difficulties emphasize problems from language barriers to cultural differences. Dating shows such as “If You Are The One” may not come with ready-made solutions, but they provide a platform for the female and male participants to build relationships and find matches.

Don’t forget to turn off the light

Wanying Zhang, a graduate student from the USC Price School of Public Policy, was participant No. 5 on the stage. The show’s producer met Zhang at a private party and persuaded her to participate.

“I’m flattered to be asked to join this show. It has to be considered a big compliment for any girl,” said Zhang. Standing on the stage, the girls are already winners, since they were selected from the more than 60 applicants.

All male and female participants are required to submit a profile, which includes their photo, height, age, educational background, profession, horoscope and even blood type.

Single men appear one by one on stage. More or less immediately, every man gets to pick one of the girls in secret that appeals to him. Then, through conversation with the host and a series of videos including interviews with his friends, family and colleagues, he reveals more about himself, his life, and what he’s looking for in a mate.

The exciting part is if a girl decides she’s not interested in the man on stage, she can turn off the light on her podium. A heart-sinking sound will be triggered to present her rejection.

The original TV show in China was set up to capitalize on the concept of “leftover girls” and “leftover boys” – meaning “women and men left on the shelf” and too old to be viable in the marriage market. Generally, reaching your early 30’s and still being single is considered a liability.

However, most female participants at UCLA’s “If You Are The One” were undergraduate students who are not even 20. As one of the three graduate students, Zhang, at 22, said she “feel so old”.

Sharp dialogue was once the show’s hallmark. Female participants usually grill the bachelors onstage, to the delight of the audience. But as an audience member who has watched the show for the third time, Fangqian Luo said, “The contestants are generally shy compared to previous [contestants].”

The only awkward moment came when an 18-year-old girl onstage interrogated male contestant No. 2, who is almost 30 and works in L.A., on why he came and tried to date a “school girl.”

It turned out that male contestant No. 2, Wei Hao, came specifically for female participant No. 11, who is 22.

Usually, every man onstage gets to play three videos. The first video tells his life story. The second tells us what he wants in a woman. In the third his friends say what they think of him. Female guests on the show can question him following the screening of each video clip.

Hao only played two videos. He saved the second video and turned that into expressing his feelings to girl No. 11, Charlize Yi. However, Yi rejected him. Although there were other two girls onstage who saved their lights to show their interest in him, Hao had to go home empty handed.

Yi was widely recognized by audiences and participants as the most outstanding girl that evening. She’s a 22-year-old graduate student at UCLA’s School of Theater, Film and Television. Most of the time during the show, she was standing there and smiling at the boys, with her light turned off.

Coming off the stage, Yi said that she wasn’t bothered being single and occasionally enjoyed some casual dates.

“Before I decided to join the show, one of the assistant producers told me, ‘Let’s face it, you are not here to find a Mr. Right, you are standing here so that more and more people will know your face.’ And that brought me here today,” said Yi.

For both male and female participants, going home without a date doesn’t necessarily mean the end of his or her pursuit. The show maintains a well resourced website, complete with contact details about the contestants. It is possible that further opportunities present themselves after the episode.

It is a free advertisement not only in the relationship market but also in a person’s professional world.

Reality show or sitcom

Some audiences certainly realized that only few contestants are serious about the show. Fangqian Luo, who had watched the show for the third time, said he doubted there was the same level of sincerity between girls and guys. “There was definitely some sort of disappointment of that. I think the guys come here for the real thing. They are very determined of securing a girl after this show,” he said.

Zhen Song, who graduated from UCLA medical school last year and has watched the show for the second time, suggested that the producer start to choose older participants who have a stronger desire for a relationship or maybe marriage.

In the city of Hollywood, the show, too, could be a window into the lives of the “rich second generation,” the children of China’s new money.

According to a world migration research report released by Pew Research Center in 2013, the U.S. is the top destination for Chinese migrants (2.2 million). Los Angeles is the favorite city for wealthy Chinese, mostly because of its large Chinese community, its good weather, and good educational opportunities, among other things.

Male contestant No. 3 played a video that “casually” revealed he was living alone in a fancy apartment and has flown planes.

“These guys certainly wear their hearts on their sleeves. Some of the things they do to get attention are just hilarious,” said Song, “I’m getting the feeling it’s more like a sitcom than a dating show.”

Why does the show remain popular?

The lucky ones who find a match win jewelry sponsored by Tiffany and a free romantic dinner at a Chinese restaurant in the San Gabriel Valley. But, still, there was no successful match during the eighth season of the show.

According to Cai, the producer, this doesn’t mean that the show failed in fulfilling its purpose. “That’s something very random. You can’t control with people’s feelings of each other,” he said.

No matter what, “If You Are The One” still attracts huge interest. Three hundred tickets were gone within 40 seconds at the UCLA event.

An audience member, Yu Liu, said that he would come to watch the show’s next season. He thought the format of the show was innovative, the hosts were humorous, and the show is often littered with brutally frank conversations between guests and hosts.

Thomas Bradbury, a UCLA professor of psychology, teaches an Intimate Relationships course and said that the show is also popular because it taps into Chinese young people’s attitudes and anxieties about love, sex and marriage.

“Young people are so focused on making money and building their careers these days, they have little time to devote to dating – and contestants speak to those difficulties on the shows,” Bradbury said. “Many people feel pressure from their parents and peers. It can be a struggle to find a partner.”

There’s difficulty of finding a mate in China, where men will outnumber women by 24 million in the next decade, which is a consequence of the one-child policy.

To better serve the show’s purpose, the Chinese Students and Scholars Association is planning to make “If You Are The One” more inclusive. “Maybe a few years later, we can make it to accept Chinese people and American people. They can come together,” said Cai, the show’s producer.

“I don’t think the show is going to be popular among American students,” said Luo, a third year undergraduate student at UCLA, “Because right now, the campus dating culture is ‘hooking up’ rather than having serious relationships.”

UCLA plans to organize its next “If You Are The One” show in the Spring.